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epiphany
July 30th, 2006, 15:18
So this sector of the forum was looking kind of vacant, and I thought I'd attempt to kick-start it.

I wrote this poem about a year or so ago, and just recently performed it at a poetry slam at my school. It's about video games, computers, etc. (a subject I assume none here have any problem relating to)

Let me know what you think :)

Game
“On”
A single press
And my world fades away
The button read “power” right?
But should have read
“Life”
Because plastic to conductor creates
A fundamental spark
The genesis of a world
Electrical Current scurries across motherboard
In a light speed serenade of one’s and zeroes
Chips read binary and produce
A single,
Infinitesimal,

Pixel

Which divides, like cells
Endlessly unfolding
Into cities, countries, worlds, universes
Entire existences
Spreading all around me
Sending me
Diving
Into a digital escape
Of whatever life I choose at the time
Hero, villain
Peasant, god
Realistic, absurd
And the “real” world is behind me now
I am here
Held back by nothing
But my wits and reflexes
My only restraints
Being bloodshot eyes, and blistered thumbs

Sixteen years of tangible existence
An obsolete memory
Emotional, economic, and educational pressures
Vestigial requirements
Of an imperfect world
Forgotten
Replaced by a far more desirable plane
What’s so hot about this life anyway?
Time spent eating, drinking, sleeping
I would rather spend blasting, soaring,
Living

So switch me off
And turn me on
This boy, this body, is no longer part
Of the “tangible”, the “physical”
The “real”
Downloaded
Forever part of a
Seam-free
Fault-free

Infinity



Anyway, I'd like to see more poetry being posted here, seeing as we're all friends and can offer constructive criticism without sounding like too much of a jerk. If anyone wants to post, I'll be glad to put my two cents in.

Happy writing :)

Saber
July 30th, 2006, 17:13
I really like this. Lovely imgary and very tasty choice of words. I'm not a great poet, so I can't really suggest anything in terms of improvment...

MerelyAthinShadow
July 30th, 2006, 21:16
Yea, my whole deviantART account is basically Poetry, so I'll post some soon.

Very creative and unique by the way! I really like it.

TuffGhost
July 30th, 2006, 22:23
• my favorite thing about it is that it is about something that i havent seen poems about before. on top of everything else, it doesnt put a bad or ood light on video games.
• the word choice is good too.
• i like

• i think you know my feelings on poetry as a whole though.

Rainbows!
August 4th, 2006, 16:42
I like it. The way you wrote it, with the spaces being in certain places and such was a good effect as well. It made the way I read it much different in a good way. Wonderful work. <3